Greetings.

First things first:

No matter what you might have heard on CNN or other shameless propaganda television programs, i am NOT a unionized turnip truck from 19th century France.

Let's see. The new stuff. Well, there's quite a wee bit of fresh and crispy pages in my own personal history book. Mmm you can still smell the acrid ink from the printing press. But the details are useless. I dont need to get into detail about how i recently inserted metal into my face myself using dentistry tools.

Today i diss creative art students. Mind not the fact that i am one myself, and let me diss freely.

Actually, i changed my mind. us art students do that a lot. And we think we are THE SHIT, and we make sure everyone knows that we think we are THE SHIT. Meanwhile, the real THE SHIT students are peacefully and modestly sitting in their liberal arts (take note of the gigantic difference between Creative Arts and Liberal Arts) class listening and participating to a variety of seminars usually led by old cynical men or young french dudes that are tres cool.

Instead, please allow me to diss idiocy in general. First, as all good Liberal Arts students have learnt to do, we must define our vocabulary

id·i·o·cy  n.

1. Extreme folly or stupidity.
2. A foolish or stupid utterance or deed.
3. Psychology. The state or condition of being an idiot; profound mental retardation
4. The state of being a creative arts student

Idiots can be found anywhere, including under big rocks, and waiting in line days in advance for the newest release of some Star Trek movie or other. They can often be found puzzling at simple things like reference books or foreign countries. Idiots often have solutions to every problem, such as their own versions of political and social models, and can't quite grasp how the peel sticks to the orange. They have been known to interpret colour wheels according to their astrological sign. (heartfelt thanks to chantal who took time out of her busy schedule to enlighten me as to aspects of the contemporary idiot i wasn't familiar with.)

And no, the printing press isn't a 19th century invention.

Idiots like to talk a lot. It seems that the less "clue" someone has, the more "cue" they seem to have. Maybe its some sort of palliative system of the human brain. uggh. and we call ourselves evolved.

There is beauty in subtelty.

There are various types of idiots, none of which are subtle in any way. There is the typical melodramatic idiot who wears her (assuming she is a she) life upon the air she breathes and the cells she sheds for all to see. Typical symptoms include liking Evanescence, and saying things like "OH MY GOD VEINS I LOVE VEINS I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF AGAIN LAST NIGHT WOW MY DAD RAPED ME LAST WEEK". These idiots usually have trouble dealing with simple, straight forward issues and situations. They also tend to write really bad essays and sometimes poetry that would make even brain dead old women cringe. Poetry that rhymes. *shudders violently*

Another common type of idiot is called the "Believer". Such a person might be seen carrying a Holy book or other and saying things like "even though you don't believe, Jesus hasn't forsaken you" or, sometimes, "DIE, YOU GENTILE!" (editor's note: The author isn't a religious bigot. He enjoys learning about the history of religions because he is quite the loser)

The last, and quite possibly most annoying type of idiot, is the idiot who believes that freedom allows him to do whatever the fuck he wants, and thinks himself a firm believer in open-mindedness, "tolerance", sophistry, and letting things go because "hey, if they werent meant to happen, they wouldnt happen". Symptoms include child molestation, and joining the North American Boy/Man Love Association (NAMBLA. Google it up if you dare). (my next rant will quite possibly dedicated to NAMBLA alone :D i have a lot to say.)

Anyhoo, now that i have informed you about three common types or Urban Idiots, i shall bid you good luck, and reccomend that you always carry a flame-thrower around. In case you were to meet a "Boy lover" someday.